you’ve probably heard of fight or flight

(a conversation sometimes had in hospitals.)

your brain wants to protect you.

this is good, and we mostly try to encourage brains when they do that

but sometimes.

sometimes brains get it wrong.

see, because when something bad happens, the world can feel like a scary, unpredictable place

and thats okay, it’s pretty normal to feel like that for a bit

but brains don’t like feeling that way

they want to know that they can be safe.

and one way to start feeling safe is to start feeling in control.

and one way to feel in control is to feel like it’s your fault.

because if it were your fault, then the world would be predictable.

you could figure out the thing you did, that made you to blame, and then you could stop doing that.

and then you would know you were safe.


title is a reference to common conversation about blame in sexual assault and the role of freezing and submitting as life-saving self-preservation.
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