I think a failure mode people often get caught in is trying to help panicked/anxious people by providing them with lots of helpful choices. So, say Joe is having a panic attack. The impulse is to give them the best thing that will make them feel the most cared for, right? Since Amy isn’t telepathic, she says:
“I’m so sorry you’re feeling awful! Can I get you anything? water? juice? I can leave? or get someone else?”
And now, Joe has to pick between ALL of those options while Amy waits on him to answer. That’s not less stressful; it’s more!
Instead, I encourage what I call forced choices. Amy can say
“I’m going to get you some water, and then I can sit here until you feel more calm, but you can tell me to leave if you want to.” [smiling at the end of the statement, and immediately moving to go get water.]
Now, Joe doesn’t have to simultaneously worry about showing anxiety/panic AND managing Amy’s emotions AND deciding what will make him feel better. Joe can focus on himself and managing his feelings, without having to worry about how his panic is making Amy feel, or accidentally snapping at her.
Additionally, the thing about anxiety is that the worry/fear is pathological by being loud: your entire experience is flooded with the anxious spiral. The marginal difference between juice and water (from the Amy-Joe example) is just such low priority that it’s impossible to pick. Simultaneously, Amy is there waiting and needing an answer, while your brain screams that you have to focus on the fear and anxiety. If Joe has a strong preference, one powerful enough to compete with the anxiety — for instance, he is stressed by the idea of Amy being out of sight while she gets water, he can speak up.